


Gross for Each Other

by Raebaemeow



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Heartbreak, Hugs, M/M, Memories, Parabatai Feels, Poor Alec, Post-Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:31:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raebaemeow/pseuds/Raebaemeow
Summary: After Magnus walks away from Alec, Jace can feel the pain...so he goes looking for Alec.*my heart broke this episode and never recovered. I just had to get this out.*All about the parabatai feelz





	Gross for Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a writer. I hated grammar in school and suck at 1st and 3rd person. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Malec has just taken over my life and I need to write out some things.
> 
> I love this show and these characters but they are not mine, sadly. 
> 
> If its horrible just go back and pretend this never happened, please don't be mean.
> 
> If you love it please leave kudos and feel free to take it and run with it and make it much better!

He knew he was hurting.  He could feel it in every beat of his heart as if it were his own heart breaking. It's weird knowing someone elses pain before actually knowing, but he knew. 

And so he squeezed max's hand once more and walked out of the infirmary into the wood carved hallway of the second floor. He had seen him leave only a few moments ago out that same door and yet the hallway was eerily quiet and empty. Maybe they had left together, but judging by the ever growing ache in his chest he knew that wasn't true. He knew that something had been off between the two for the past few days. If the awkward glances and ignored comments at the fairie meeting weren't enough evidence then the unsettling feeling of loss in his chest was. 

And so he decided it was far time to ask his parabatai if he needed him or at the very least to be a comforting presence. The only problem was that he was awful at comforting. Punching, great. Killing evil demons, perfect. Comforting hurting loved ones? not so much. 

But this was Alec and with every step down the hall the hole in his chest only grew and a slight pounding in his head had started. He knew he would hide his hurt from everyone and that he would feel embarassed to be caught upset. But again this was his parabatai and he could not hide his feelings from him. 

He first made his way to Alecs bedroom, well old bedroom described it better since he barely ever slept there anymore, besides the last few days. He made sure to knock loudly on the door, just in case, as he remembered that one time he didn't knock...

 ***** He was in a hurry and needed to talk to him. Where had he gone? His lights were still on in his office and a hot cup of coffee lay waiting on his desk. He had checked the training room and ops center before heading for his room. Maybe he needed something from there.

He needed something alright...a lock.

As the door swung open and he glanced around the room his eyes fell upon magnus. Shirtless, pantless (thank god he still had his boxers on) and perfectly straddling one Alexander Gideon Lightwood on the bed. They were kissing messily, groaning into each other, Alecs hands grouping at magnus' butt cheeks. 

And then everyone froze. 

And then everyone jumped into action.

"Fuck, shit, sorry" Jace said as he half turned and looked everywhere but at the bed and the two mostly naked men. 

While Alec exclaimed a "what the," that turned into a "shit," that evolved into a "mags, magnus you okay?" For when Alec had flung himself upright at noticing jace, he had sent Magnus inelegantly sliding to the floor to fall hard on his butt. 

"Well thats not exactly how i planned on being sore after this..." mumbled magnus sarcastically as he rubbed his butt.

And alec studdered and it was all just too awkward and too funny and jace was laughing. He tried to hide it in a cough at first but then he couldnt help it and soon all three were laughing, gasping for air.

Alec sighed and took a deep breathe beforr asking, "Jace what are you doing barging into my room by the way?"

"Oh...*cough*clearing the throat* I came to tell you of a mass demon attack on young mundanes. You know work never stops. Even when your boyfriend comes to visit and you just cant keep it in your pants." He looked pointly at the pair of pants strewn accross the floor. 

"Shit. Okay I'll be right there...could you please leave now?" Alec responded exasperated.

"Don't worry, I have already seen too much. But for christ sake Alec lock your door. You have a warlock in bed with you, you could atleast use a little magic." 

"Oh darling nothing I do is little."****

Jace shook his head fondly at the memory. They were so happy. Alec was so happy. He had had everything he had always wanted and jace remembered the feeling of warmth that spread through him everytime Alec was with Magnus. 

He made sure to knock again before opening the door and declaring himself. Before peering inside only to find a disheveled bed and clothes littering the floor. No Alec.

So he turned and walked to the training center.

And that is where he found Alec. Punching repetively at the punching bag. Hit after hit after hit. Jace could see small traces of blood on the bag, where alecs hands had hit one too many times. 

He wasn't really surprised to find him here or to find him with bloodied hands, hair slick with sweat and repeptive movements. Lashing out at the bag instead of facing his pain. 

Most of the time Jace just left him to his vices but this was different. Alec was taking shallow and irregular breaths. He had never seen Alec struggle for breathe, not during training. Maybe after one hell of a mission but they had been training for years.Training never made him winded. 

Thats when Jaces concern peaked and he strided over to Alec. He walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Alec, you okay man?"

Alec only shrugged him off and kept punching.

"Alec hey, talk to me. I can feel you hurting."

Not even a hesitation as he threw another punch sending the bag jerking in the opposite direction. 

"ALEC, stop man, your just making yourself bleed now...hey stop." And with that jace yanked Alec away from the bag. Only to have Alec turn on him.

"Just stop, okay...I...I'm, it's..." Alec was heaving breaths and struggling to talk before he hung his head and fell kneeling to the floor. His hands in his lap, blood spotting his knuckles.

It took a minute to realize that he was sobbing. Alec, the tough, stubborn and stone faced shadowhunter was sobbing. Shoulders shaking and tears cascading into his lap. 

It seemed like too long that he was frozen just staring at alec. Not comprehending so much emotion coming from such a usually stoic shadowhunter. Until alec wimpered and jace jolted forward. Kneeling in front of alec to collect him into a tight hug, not knowing what to do or say. 

So they sat there.

Alec sobbing.

Jace rubbing his back as alec clutched to him as if he couldnt ever let go.

"Hey, Alec, shh, talk to me.... it's Magnus isn't it? What did he do? You know I can kick some ass, all you have to do is ask."

"no...no...Its me, its all me, its all my fault and i...i lost him and now i cant, i cant. Ughh i cant stop fucking crying. I just, i just..." alec trailed off while leaning out of jaces embrace to take a few deep breaths and collect his thoughts.

"I'm sure its not all on you alec. He made the decision to leave, am I right?" 

"But I lied Jace and I thought I was doing the right thing but I lost his trust and now. Now Ive lost him... Jace Ive never felt so, so empty before. When he walked away, I felt like I couldnt breathe. I still can't. And the only thing I can think of to make it better is to curl up on HIS fucking sofa with HIS arms around me telling me it will all be ok. But it wont, it cant and-"

"Hey hey alec, first off that feeling? Its heart break. Been there. Felt that. It sucks. But i really dont think he is just done with you alec. You guys were so happy together. By the angel you guys made me jealous, just by how much you love each other....alec when he walks in a room, I literally feel warmth spreading through our bond. And then I look at his face and its an exact replication of what Im feeling, look all im saying is, breathe, take a few days to think, really think and then talk to him. He will come around. You guys are gross for each other."

and with that last part alec chuckled and dropped his head again. "I hope your right Jace. Nothing feels right without him. I guess I miss our grossness." 

They hugged again and then jace hopped up to help alec up off the floor. He helped alec heal his hands before sending him off to bed.

He truly had never seen Alec so torn up before and all because of one Magnus Bane.


End file.
